'in an unhealthy relationship' should def be an fb option
He made a note in his iPhone tonight so that he would remember that I rejected him.
I'm wayyy too drunk to be in a parade right now
alcohol. turning childhood friends into awkward hookups since the dawn of civilization.
I'm not sure how many more innuendos I can slip into this fucking conversation before I just blatantly say "I want to fuck you."
Oh you have a half-brother? Why that's right up my alley! Let's cause family strife
Tearing families apart since 2011.
I'm confused as to why I have a picture of your boobs in response to a photo of my father
You know when you get a stripper pays your bail. You got good wood.
Drive by water balloon fight on $500,000 boats ended when someone threw a dildo
A duck just looked me in the eye whilst I peed in a lake. I feel so dirty.
WHERE THE FUCK'S MY FUCKING RITALIN YOU FUCKING FASCIST?????
Whatever you have to do, STALL THEM. Your toothbrush is in the kitchen, my pants are on the balcony, and I don't have eyebrows.
Good, I've got all this booze. It's intimidating to be in the room alone with it..
The usual, icing my vag with a chimichanga.
Shes yelled my World of Warcraft name when we were having sex, I think marriage is next.
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