no homo or anything but the way you were dancing with that girl gave me a boner
Thats the last time I go out drinking with my Irish friends. Two shots of flaming sambucca = bar on fire. I was only trying to high five the barman.
Good thing you left when you did - ended up getting banned from jimmy johns.
I haven't even gone in yet. I'm sitting in the waiting room playing a game i like to call "Who else is here for AA".
since we're both too lazy to go to each others house, you drink there, i'll drink here and we'll skype. it's the same thing.
all a guy has to do is give me sprinkles and cookies and they can get me in bed
ITS DAYLIGHT SAVINGS TIME SUNDAY EVERYTHING IS GOING TO BE OK AFTER ALL
I rarely go in there. Unless it's for mini cadbury eggs and whiskey.
My roommate took my designated hickey removing spoon out of the freezer.
Trumps. I've been wiping my ass with fast food napkins for 3 days.
Going through my purse trying to find money for this cab but all I keep pulling out if chicken from my burrito o ate an hour ago. Help?
Your "dubstep at ceilis" resulted in a random naked guy busting into my room and peeing all over my bathroom
I mean, you got a giant dick. I've seen lawn gnomes that are smaller.
Had a dream last night that we survived the apocalypse. And we celebrated Christmas.
What did I get you?
A 12 gauge and a bottle of vodka that was waist high.
Sounds about right
I just group texted a dick pic. Wonder who'll respond back first. Ashley Stacey or my stepmom
Randomize
