you need to leave class get on facebook and start untagging IMMEDIATELY
I want him to be my next love. So I'm taking it slow
As in ill only blow him next week
He rubs his penis on back when he think I'm sleeping
Is it wrong in Austin to talk to the homeless while I feed a bird my chips??
Not only is he in the circus, the man survived a near death experience and has an accent. She might as well have found a unicorn. This shit just doesn't happen in real life. Where did she meet this magical creature?
She was mad I came so fast. I was like, It's the Olympics! Fastest time wins! We can train you in the offseason.
And I really REALLY don't feel like cleaning cinnamon off my penis tonight.
She got the hiccups while deep throating me. It was epic. Once in a lifetime experience.
He pulled a kid having a seizure out of a car and stayed with him until the ambulance came.
he what???
Not kidding. My ovaries cannot handle this shit...swear next time he'll rescue a bunch of pound puppies and hand them out to lonely orphans.
at work, .. 47 yr old boss was in a fight. 2 BLACK EYES. I may get fired. I cant stop laughing
You wanna know how bad I feel? I couldn't get out of bed to get the remote, so I just downloaded the comcast app on my phone so I could change the channels
he has a party story that rivals our "PTSD- soldier-with-a-knife" party story. I'm pretty sure this is part of some prophecy.
Anyway, it's clearly a shapeshifting vagina/AT-AT, which I never said I was SEXUALLY attracted to. Just that I liked it.
In going to go underground and live with the mole people for a while.
all i'm saying is don't blame me if your purses are filled with whoppers
are we talking malt balls or BK?
Randomize
