yeah but I shoulda known it\'d be bad when he start rubbing my pubic bone instead of the clit! Awkkkkwarddd
i googled "the goonies drinking game." i may be alone, but i'm living the college dream.
she kept peeing on everything and yelling it was now her property.
sometimes i wish i had boobs. not on me. just like in a drawer.
HE KEEPS WALKING AWAY. IT'S LIKE HE DOESN'T EVEN LIKE FRIES. WTF.
I looked at you and you stared at me dead in the eyes then sprayed febreze at your crotch and winked.
Guess whose mug shot is NOT on the Internet anymore?!?!
Let's just say my vagina is not superimpressed with the superintendent of schools.
I'm not proud of how I threatened that 8 year old during drunken laser tag
WHYAREWHITEGUYSSOBADINBED?! What the fuck went wrong, evolution?
I said to him "i can't have sex with anyone in my friend's living room" then he said "we can move the air mattress into the kitchen"
I need an inhaler full of pot for all of this breathless rage.
WINE AND FILM. TALK ABOUT AN UPGRADE FROM NETFLIX AND CHILL.
Please don't bang more than two exes at a time, just so I won't get confused.
My car insurance payment showed up today, so no inflatable hot tub for now. Sorry to disappoint.
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