then you asked me to turn your jeans into "jorts" just long enough to cover your ballsack
i just lost my virginity for the 9th time. when will guys stop believing that nonsense line
turns out making maccaroni and cheese with whipped cream instead of butter is only good when your high
She passed out on top of the bar. Still did body shots off her.
If you're still on campus there's a jack and coke in the bathroom of fondren science Bldg. Too strong to bring to class.
You're a college freshman. Its your job to be pathetic. And drunk. But mostly pathetic
you know who we are? We're the female white stoner version of Kenan and Kel.
If you can get laid in a rudolph onesie you are doing something right my friend.
I did the walk of shame in nothing but a sleeping bag and now I'm on my way to pick up plan B. Let's not make a habit of this.
Sounds like a good New Years
DOGS JUST TOTALLY ATE THE FEATHERS OFF MY NIPPLE CLAMPS!!!
I'm high and having a granola buffet this has got to be the healthiest I have ever been
STOP GETTING GIRLS PREGNANT IN MY BED.
He doesn't wear a seatbelt. He votes Republican. He has a small dick. That house of cards just fell apart.
If she didn't have scissors in her hand I would have motor boated the fuck out of her when she was done cutting my hair.
Can we skype so I'm not drinking alone?
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