if any two of us come back from the bar and aren't getting laid we will systematically destroy everything in the kitchen
I dont get chicks, its like they only care about themselves and money
sounds like you understand them just fine
so all night Ive been that girl with her tits out @ the bar. I mean I dropped jaws, yo. But in a classy way.
I have now slept with people from more countries than Ive actually visited. Can we make this a game somehow? Like foreign fuck buddy bingo?
i decided what we are doing for your 21st b-day: camelbacks filled with margaritas
My bed is full of blood and feathers
Either sorry for fondling you Saturday or thank you for letting me fondle you Saturday.
wearing the bible to the ABC party, thought you'd appreciate that.
You seemed underwhelmed by my smooth, smooth ass
I witness him finger a girl behind the dj decks yet I'm still going to meet up with him. Wtf is my life
I'm not into beards but apparently my vagina is.
George Washington did not fight for our freedom just to have people shit themselves all night
Between fucking and sleeping I woke up missing four out of five of the earrings I was wearing. It's like a star rating system. I had to give him props.
Hey every now and then can you tell me you want to fuck me to boost my confidence? Thanks.
I was just seen throwin up on the bookstore building near a trashcan by parents. Naturally I throw a thumbs up and say go college
Randomize
