nothing says platonic group sex like a campfire and smores
omg kevin jonas gave his bride a glass slipper..could he be any gayer then he is now
he is so gay. he makes clay aiken look straight. what is wrong with the lady that married him? kevin must be envious of her balls
Dude. I have been looking at your movie history on netflix and it is like looking at the rings of a tree. Only instead of telling me how old you are, it tells me when you were stoned.
dude. this chick is staring at me like i gave her brother herpes.
History professor is at the bar. Hurry! There's only so many A's he could give before it starts to look bad.
Ew. After that you just pretty much proved that your vagina is the reason why my vagina needs two toilet seat covers when peeing in public restrooms
she came back from her house with A paper cut , a 2liter of sprite with Bacardi , and half a mustache . we're inviting her more ofte
Now that makes it sound like you had sex with a guy in batman costume and you never took the mask off so you can't 100 percent be sure.
Everyone is out there getting real jobs and I just realized I've been "washing" my clothes with fabric softener for two months.
He can't just hit it and quit it and then eat your pop tarts on his way out.
I just want to braid flowers into his hair and steal all of his pills.
Baruch atah adonai DAT ASS DOE
Last night I went outside to our neighbors and asked them to put in money with me to get a hot tub for our patio. Niceeeee
You drunk-dialed me and asked me to describe my burrito
She shouldn’t care what consenting adults do behind closed doors
You do realize it was her husband you were hooking up with behind that door, right?
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