Would you object to my putting the bidet video on my Facebook page? It;s awesome.
So you refered to him as "monster dick"...not so much
Fuck. sleeping in my sisters room again I heard zombie noises outside my window
She's Christian and monogamous. Two wammies right there. No amount of convincing will turn that bi for a night.
the homeless guy was waiting for me this morning. this is the closest to a boyfriend ive had in years.
relax...and go to your happy place, which probably has a lot of dicks
I haven't been this hungover since you found me laying in front of your door gagging with pepto bismal tablets scattered around me
Im 95% ready to shit behind 711
You lured him into the bathroom with a trail of jello shots, then proceeded to barricade the door with duct tape. You really should have thought that one through..
If u ever apologize to me for "too-rough" sex again I will suspend ur all-access pass to my vagina indefinitely
Damn it. Can't order pizza. Can't do the hot tub. No one to invite over for loud, kinky sex. What's the point of being here alone?!
Enough talk of my burning loins. How is your day?
Yeah that stuff was rough. We insisted on wearing our bikinis all down college ave, and at several parties that were not beach themed
Getting on a bus with a beer pong table. I am proof we can make this campus fun.
What happened last night? I just woke up and there's like 15 mcflurry cups on the floor
You don't remember stealing them?
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