Rosebud was a fucking sled. Gay.
Oh i forgot. I hit on a mentally challenged girl too.
Trying not to fart in the comp lab is going to take everything i've got.
it appears as though my vagina has gotten the best of me again
It's amazing how much better one feels once you put something in your vagina.
I just found a bag of teeth...
broke the door off of my fridge tryin to have a indoor rodeo
A girl pulled up next to me at a stoplight just now, looked around for a second, and then changed her top, bra and all, before the light turned green. New. Hero.
My worst case scenario tonight is that I fuck a hot Swiss girl. Let that give you perspective on my life at the moment.
We learned a lot about one another. I showed him around the town I grew up in and he informed me that he has had a threesome and killed a cat
Please be advised that because of last year's "incident" we will no be starting St. Pat's day with spicy breakfast burritos and car bombs. Please plan accordingly.
I was making out with him, and then his friend randomly took off my pants and started going down on me. My first semi-threesome was a success.
also I have no idea whose underpants I'm wearing right now but they're super comfy and I'm not giving them back ever
Ok maybe now I get why I'm single I think I just broke a rib pooping
i now regret my decision on turning down your offer of sex in the backseat
Randomize
