Some guy with no shirt on and his pants undone informed us he was kicked out of the cab
I asked him why, and he had absolutely no idea.
rough night. sneezed a watermelon seed this morning and apparently I drunk dialed my boss for a ride home. twice.
Just found out what was wrong with Esther. Turns out she's 33 and still not married. This explains everything.
we got our roommate high for the first time. He went into his room alone and watched Malcolm in the middle for three hours
please tell me you didn't have sex with him in the bathroom...
Does an alley count?
We just threw our carpet out of our room. Via fourth floor window style.
Well I squeegeed the puke off your arm at the gas station
Aww. I feel like I need to kill a puppy just to make room in the world for how cute you are right now
At what point would you like us to save you from yourself?
And that's why we do second round interviews for possible roommates.
I woke up snuggling a bottle of water while Hercules played on Netflix. Whiskey Wednesdays
His roommates came in the room and were throwing snowballs at us while we were hooking up.
BRING KITTENS I AM A GENIUS
the police dropped me off. that's how my night went.
It was kind of like hidden Mickey ears, but with dicks.
Randomize
