So thats when I found out ur supposed to put the penut butter on your balls not your dogs balls, feels alot better
He's engaged. If the world's smallest penis can find true love than I can too.
We're all in the kiddie pool on the porch. Fully clothed. Watching porn. With my manager.
I'm getting to the point of going up to a guy and saying "Hi I'm maggie and i can put my foot behind my head"... That desperate.
If you have a glass table... Put it up. I don't wanna hurt myself again, I just got my stitches out...
Okay hun. Well my neighbors haven't called the cops yet so I think we're good. No more burning in the yard.
its like a catch 22, sucks that you've stopped, but its like a vagina high five
I'm totally going to bang the cable guy tonight. I'm so pumped
According to my snapchat story, I tore a fake wig off a security guard and ran away with it.
Broken leg sex is fun because I just get to lay there
Officially spring today. First sighting of loud-ass Steller Jay on the balcony.
i think it’s okay to see him. you just can’t wind up with his penis in your mouth again
i think i'm just going to start having sex with his brother, he's much hotter and it would definately be less illegal.
I'm a peeled potato compared to her. I'm a peeled potato compared to anyone. I'm a peeled potato.
Are you high?
They stopped fighting to partake in M&Ms and porn.
Randomize
