"Ever since I killed her kid she be actin' shady." Actual quote overheard at Marine World just now. Oh God.
white trash bash was a total success...cops shut it down twice and her hair stayed in rollers all night..she never broke character
what kind of wine goes with anal sex and shame?
he gets drunk and then tries to eat the lasers at the dance club
Its amazing how creative youll get when your house has been out of toilet paper for a week and a half
HELP! I GOT DRUNK IN THE LIVING ROOM AND CANT GET UP UPSTAIRS
I was supremely disappointed in the lack of dick and doughnuts in my life last week.
I woke up covered in thousand island dressing. I need answers.
Aka I'm headed to the liquor store because I don't know how to handle my emotions.
My mom just said "okay girls, the ONLY thing i ask is that you stay sober Saturday afternoon, until halfway through lunch. And you don't wear that crystal camo hat. This is a funeral, not a tailgate party"
Best wishes.
Went and sat in the wrong fucking class for 30 mins, answering questions and shit. What ever this is i will be on it for the rest of the semester.
Remind me to NEVER AGAIN mix beer with tequila with beer with whiskey with vodka with rum with vodka.
He texted me at 4:30 in the morning saying "I'm not drunk but I think you're beautiful" and then a facebook message at 6 am saying "hi" and the subject was "oh"
I woke up with what has to be a whole pack of smarties loose in my bra. Was that your fault?
It was weird, it was like my heart got a boner. Is this being an adult?
Randomize
