i just google imaged poop.
So we tried to 69 with him on top. NEVER TRY IT. His balls were in my eyes and it was terrifying.
I pretty much envision me eating a turkey leg whilst fucking you. I have priorities.
Whore. There is deli meat in my wallet.
Don't smoke out front when you get home there's gasoline involved I'll tell you later
It might have taken me 30 minutes but I finally finished the toast I made. That hungover.
Why is it that when I sustain a serious injury people are more concerned with my level of inebriation than my personal safety?
Well you were hungry, by then you cried and called yourself a basic bitch for eating crackers
I mean I'm sad it didn't work out but tbh he he can't unlick my booty hole or unbreak his headboard... He won't forget my name ever
This band has the most fuckable violin player I have ever seen.
ok so i got home drunk and was cleaning my kitchen and i was shaking out the throw rug and dropped it out the window, i'm sorry
Drunk me just want to text sober me for saving that half rack of ribs I loves you
I still have that dildo-suction bruise on my forehead and this sweater STILL smells like my Christmas Eve vomit.
Eventually I will start sleeping with people who actually want to hangout with me the next day... But not today
You laid on the floor and pet their rug. and then demanded Voss water.
Randomize
