D3 body, D1 cock
he sent me a naked picture of himself. things got awkward really quickly. but on a positive note he shaved his chest
Look I'm sorry I shaved your cat, but get over it.
You should really come over right now. There's hot construction workers across the street. I'm gonna go pour beer on myself in a bikini on the sidewalk. See you in 5?
Package from mother. Contents: Cookies, my old pokemon cards, and condoms. Note: "These have a July 2010 expiration date so give them away or use them with a gal that would be a great daughter in law. Love Mom" Love you too momma
i'm calling it girls night to make myself feel better but lets be real.....i wasn't going to get any guys tonight regardless
some chick tossed a drink in your face at the bar last night. your mouth was opened so i think you ended up swallowing at least half of it. good job.
Today I left one job interview, showed up randomly at his house for a midday bootycall then left right after to attend my second job interview. I got both jobs
Def just threw up beer then brushed my teeth with some randos toothpaste now back to drinkin beer
You're the horniest male I have ever encountered
Makes it sound like you're a scientist documenting your discoveries. I warned you.
Best sex of my life. But I think it's because I like his apartment. Really nice bed sheets. High vaulted ceilings. I wanted to lay there forever.
You're getting old. Was it located in a nice school district for your future offspring?
Woke up this morning with Nerf Bullets stuck to everything in my house and nut in my belly button. What exactly happened last night?
I'm ready to run through the streets naked yelling "HES ALIVE!"
It’s just hard to believe you really care about me when u haven’t touched my dick in 2 months
I feel like my entire body is ashamed of me today
You're a god amongst men today
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