I realize now. I should have just made out with everyone and anyone when I had the chance.
friends don't let friends hook up with gingers.
i just got so high i needed a buddy system to the kitchen
he asked me if i "normally slept like that" because i was curled up in a ball facing the wall. then he told me that i woke up in the middle of the night and said "oh my god. i forgot you were here." how did he not understand that i didn't want him in my bed.
He's drunk and putting on a tie for the jimmy john's delivery guy
It wasn't random sex though, it was almost a relationship, built on lies and sex
....I found a picture of what appears to be the underneath side of the barstool (taken from the floor) and to top that, 9 pictures of the ceiling. Also, did I mention there's a picture with us posing with a pregnant lady at the bar?! WELP
She said to bring taco sauce. Hoping that's a euphemism.
So my POF profile is full of Archer references. Only guys who get them will be getting any response to their messages.
I don'y know if I should feel accomplished or disgusted. I just ate a dozen cookies all to myself. I'm leaning more towards accomplished.
I just kept thinking.. Holy shit. We're fucking in my front yard.
I still have to bake cookies and shave my legs so Mike can have MILF & cookies when he gets home.
She called to tell me she just hooked up with my crush...and that he talked about me...not sure if I should be pissed or excited?
I want you to worship my cock.
That's not how you start a conversation.
I will not go because I am a man of my word and of my penis.
Randomize
