okay pat passed out under dana's car
What should i be more turned off about... his massive collection of condoms or that he asked me to sign my name by number 68 on the list posted on his wall?
I think the two go hand in hand.
i just practiced my bj skills on a banana in front of the mirror
its going to be a good night
My hot female boss's cubical is right next to mine with a wall between us. Do you think it is too forward to make a glory hole in the wall?
Got bored today and made list of places in apt I want to have sex. One includes opening and coming out the window.
If I die, please delete the word file entitled "Rainy Day"
Seriously, it was like sucking my thumb.. and im not even saying that to be spiteful b/c he is a really nice guy.
Found my phone laying in a snow angel outside my apt this morning.
Yeah, clearly. And then we can float around my room on Christmas themed inner tubes. And drink, I guess.
bartering with my concussed boyfriend to eat food with blowjobs
You went to the animal party as a hoodrat. You won the most creative costume contest.
In the ER with Chelz, I may have broken her ankle during sex. Lovely.
I told him I just left the convent and really wanted a man. He fell for it. Sure beats telling him I'm a nympho stalker that followed him to the bar when I saw his beard.
I wanna suck that fisherman's dick.
You should have just fucked me in the bathroom when you had a chance!
I'm having to shit out rocks
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