Just found out its our ciliated mucous membrane that traps the molly when we snort it. Biology does relate to life
I've been living off of popsicles and broth.
Can we please get on skype for like 20 seconds so i can show you my penis and the spiderman temporary tattoo that is right above it
i was really hopeful that i could make it to the end of the semester without doing something stupid enough to destroy our relationship but i guess i was wrong..........thanks vodka
It's two in the afternoon, I'm on my third glass of wine and I'm watching Lambchop on youtube. How do you think I feel right now?
Dude...I slept walked to the free condom bin in the lounge last night. I don't know why.
i just added a shot of fireball to my iced coffee. goodbye sobriety.
Welcome to Missouri, the show me your genitals state.
I had to switch to male Siri because I could feel female Siri voice judging me for reading my sexts out loud. Also, the dude voice keeps me in the mood.
He said he's going to karaoke tonight and I just spilled a bunch of Cheetos on the floor and ate them all. So that's my night.
Unless your apology includes a 20 something with loose morals and a daddy complex, I'm am not interested
IT'S A GIANT FUCKING ROBOT, DUDE. LOGIC IS OUT OF THE QUESTION BECAUSE AWESOME.
Puking out the window is really hard when you're the one driving.
she told me id be a great addition to their lesbian community and shes giving me sex eyes from across the room. come get me NOW
I just sent a Slack that autocorrected tomorrow to gonorrhoea. Please note that Slack autocorrect isn’t very good.
Randomize
