Hey I found your number in my phone i dont remember how we met this is richard btw
strange i dont have your number must have been a drunk thing
could be more
absolutely not
she was screaming in french about how classy it was to be drinking wine. oh... she was drinking it out of the bottle. with a beer in her other hand while throwing up.
Well, shes famous, an alcoholic, hillarious, and has big boobs.... Pretty much my only aspirations in life.
So she comes up to me at the end of the night and asks me if I going to take her home and fuck her. I pretty much had to right?
you had an obligation.
He then proceeded to tell me about his enlarged lymph nodes, his"severe" case of blue balls.
My mom is purposely blasting Shania Twain downstairs so I can't jack off.
He just sent me a winky face in the middle of setting up a drug deal. You don't do that.
$150 bar tab covered by these tits. That's now the going rate. Keeping my bra on during sex unless i see the Benjamins.
I think online classes were designed around the concept of day drinking.
But Alex is drunk in Philly and I told him to come see me so that's "first-love,-drunk,-high,-and-it's-a-snow-day-hook-up-with-an-ex" points. 69
Favorite thing said to me in 2012: It's like you have two tongues!
Were you keeping a list?
I changed my birth control schedule so that I'm on my period while you're gone this week
I don't deserve you.
i like beer, sex, and cooking. what more can he want?
However many condoms you have, it isn't enough.
Spent like 2 minutes so far learning and 35 minutes in a group chat talking about big asses. Yet another Wed zoom meeting.
Randomize
