To answer your question of whether I "went back," tits just informed me I was kicked out for falling off my barstool and passing out on the floor...
please come you make the beer taste better
I'm pretty sure she sent a group text out saying that I was the one to get with her last night and sorry to everyone who didnt make it.
Honestly it was an honor just to be nominated.
she's walking around the room telling people she can make the room move with her mind and then she shakes her head really fast yelling 'see?!'
she said my body looked tiny like it was a bad thing and then didn't even mention how great my tits look. it's like we're not even friends.
I guess on the plus side everyone really, really enjoyed my nipple clamps
Hey if there is a better reason to go drink then "I've been fucking robbed!" I have yet to hear one. Also, I've been fucking robbed.
I'm making myself a nametag with my contact info and pinning it to myself like a kindergardenter in case I get lost when I black out on Sat.
Can we laminate it? Just to be safe.
I gave the bathroom attendant $5 last night for turning the sink on for me. What. The. Fuck.
He facetimed with his son when he was still inside of me. If that's not a dedicated dad I don't know what is
A German guy asked me to take a bath with him. I can't tell if he's just an eccentric European or a run of the mill creep.
Ok, not to minimize the significance of that beautiful anecdote from your childhood, but here's a video of my penis.
Did i fall last night when u carried me home.
idk
OHHH yea you fell down the stairs face first
he was peeing off the deck shouting "urinals are for pussies" that's how much hurricane.
I just passed a lady driving with a cat in a sweater sitting on her lap with its paws on the steering wheel
Only you....
Randomize
