Conclusion from last night: Sometimes being classy isn't as fun as making out with a guy on a pooltable in a bar. Happy birthday, Canada.
He looked way older than 15. He probably thought that since I have braces I was 15. Fuck. The 6 year age gap is never to be spoken about. Especially because what happened constitutes as illegal.
you make it seem like sunflower seeds and pinot grigio are not in the food pyramid.
Found him. He was passed out on the couch at the new place in a room full of burnt pizza smoke.
how do i tell him I'm always in the mood without sounding like a slut?
and the award for most disgusting thing ever done on my couch now officially goes to you! Congratulations, you won the couch...I can't even look at it anymore.
In case you were wondering...putting everclear into a humidifier DOES get you really really drunk.
I have a music final in an hour so I put all the classical songs we need to know in a shower power hour playlist, beer included.
After this weekend, it looks come this holiday season I'll be walking in a winter abortionland.
Please God, is a penis possibly making it to vagina town to much to ask for tonight.
By 11 pm the pants were off and there was no turning back. But on the bright side, you promised me your CDs when you died, you even signed a napkin saying so.
Next time you're baked eat baked beans and potato chips together. Like dip them in the beans. It's so good
Just got to Evans to buy weed. His mom showed up unannounced. Now the three of us are chillen. Super.
there is a smiley face on my leg painted in blood
I'm pretty sure that's yours.
She walked into the kitchen, said 'we've come to this time of the party,' reached into the bowl of cold spaghetti and shoved a handful in her mouth.
Randomize
