I admire a woman who can maintain dignity while puking after too much whiskey
There's a show on bravo about fat people dancing. FAT PEOPLE. DANCING.
This is god's gift to the unemployed.
Seriously, let me lead the intervention, my parents did like three with me. I know how it works.
Why do fat girls all have such cute faces?
God wants them to get laid too.
This is going to be BYOBM Vegas trip: Bring Your Own Bail Money.
Just because I tried to backhand you with a fist full of cash does not make me violent
officially hit rock bottom.. been yelling through the vent in my room to my little brother trying to convince him to get me water for the past two hours. i fear feeling the full effect of my hangover if i stand.
Am I allowed to compare getting cum'd on the face to a warm summer rain?
tanning, a slurpee, and a cigarette. spa day college edition
And he came all over himself. At least he didn't ruin my new lulus.
Actually though that could've been bad.
You were carrying a 6 ft lamp that we stole on your back yelling "OHANA MEANS FAMILY AND FAMILY MEANS NOBODY GETS LEFT BEHIND"
Yes I peed all over myself and lost both my credit cards, who wants to know?
Drunk me just left a note for sober me apologizing for all the fucking crumbs in our bed
I don't know if the puke on my pants is mine or not
Sorry for trying to wake you up by slapping your ass with a fruit 2 go.
Randomize
