I think getting shot is the thing to do in Brooklyn
I just had one of those moments where i was really sad that i'll never get to be asian.
shes the only person ive ever met that could make "i don't swallow" sound sexy
Just violated the laws of fuck-buddyship and talked to him about my personal life. I don't like it.
what is the most politically correct way to ask if he still hangs out with the guy that has blue hair and make meth in his car?
I just Tebowed the shit out of her.
Nice and you can't use "Tebow" in the place of every verb.
Do you have any pics of the gummy penis incident?
Yeah, first time I've shit my pants in my twenties... I'm thinking about putting it on my Facebook timeline
I feel like I was dropped out of a helicopter. Through the propeller.
he shit on the floor last night i'm not venturing down there
i have a raging boner for Saturday, day drinking is one of my top favorite things right next to alligator wrestling and blowing shit up
She swallowed the key to the cuffs, I've been having to explain the pink fuzz all morning.
Only a true best friend would remind you to make sure your cucumber dildo is organic
I didn't have anyone to cheers so I tapped my beer on your fish tank... a little too hard
I think we have some hyper-understanding of each other when drunk, because looking back at our text convo from last night, they were literally just jumbled letters.
Randomize
