my little brother just caught me blowing my step cousin in the lobby bathroom at our family reunion
I wonder if they've ever made a porno about the song "she'll be comin' round the mountain when she comes"
The last thing I remember is yelling "ill handle this" while wearing a lion suit and holding a jug of vodka when the RAs came
i will see naked twins by the end of the night. that's all i know
Really? How much of his life do you think he remembers? I'm pretty sure 75% of it qualifies as "kind of a blur".
It took years to rebuild my brains forcefield against your charm and I feel like u seal team 6'd ur way in again and caught my common sense sleeping on post
Quick question, when did I develop feelings, and how can I make them go away?
That's two questions.
I threw away my jacket instead of washing it, the jungle juice stained me more of shame than red food coloring... i have never been that white girl wasted before...
Vegas is great, yelled at a guy 4 lanes over if he wanted a bj. ended up having sex in a vacant lot. I think he was homeless.
woke up in a random sweater in a random bed in a random house on a street I don't recognize..
also, I vaguely remember swapping shirts with some random guy on the dance floor.
I am going to go back to drinking and listneing to Hanson now. Maybe crying. Or perhaps Full House reruns
I remember eating bacon bits off your chest that night... I'll never look at bacon pizza the same way
I gave myself a charlie horse masturbating this morning. I feel like that really set the tone for the day.
It's his. I know, I'm pregnant with a genetic douche bag but at least he'll be pretty!
Did I tell you about the swingers? Because I think they're trying to trap me.
Randomize
