im insabelyl wasted and diont know if ill yexyed tou. call me
Rosebud was a fucking sled. Gay.
how hairy? two words: wookie tits
bras are like tupperware for tits, keeps em fresh.
I probably should have cut it off when he started putting queso on my nipples, but within ten minutes I was a self-serve burrito bar.
other than her wanting kids and me wanting to do drugs,were perfect for each other
Seriously man, I'm worried that my dick's going to fall off someday if I keep this up...
He left his own bachelor party to bring me weed. Then smoked with me. Tell me I'm not his favorite-ex-friends-with-benefits.
I already have one guy that I have regrettable sex with. I don't need another.
people in the room actually applauded when we discovered you had the ability to somehow throw up on your own back
I remember just enough about last night to wish I didn't remember anything.
What's the sex policy on a school bus? Because I dibs back seat.
Sex allowed. Dress code is neon and obnoxious.
We are gonna die. I wanna enforce the "no jumping out of moving vehicles" policy. And how are we gonna get a school bus through mcdonalds drive thru?
I'll just be sleeping in this laundry room. Come get me at bar close.
So how exactly do I backtrack from motorboating and ass grabbing?
Sorry, I thought I responded to your question. My name is Jon, we kinda had a sleepover at your friends place in OC. Don't know if you remember me, you were "dick chugging" like there was no tomorrow last night.
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