DAMN! I hate it when i drunkenly erase all my "sent message" and wake up in the morning and my inbox is full of "WTF?" and "Huh?" messages.
She offered to make me a fruit roll up salad for breakfast...I'm not sure if that's the coolest or weirdest thing ever...
I fucked her on my hockey bag. it doesnt get any more Canadian than that.
I woke up hugging a loaf of bread and a water bottle this morning
My face left an imprint in the loaf...
Your place is a magnet for either righteous parties or crippling alcohol dependency. Lets find out which together
Woke up naked wearing mismatched earrings. Didn't even make it to the bar.
Just because im a good person doesn't mean that I don't reserve the right to be a complete dick about it.
I asked the full emergency room who else was there because of homecoming and every single person raised their hand
Sure. But we have to be quiet.
Ninja mode activated
Fuck you, if it wasn't for us going to the city, she would be using me as a human sex toy all day.
Face washed and sleeping pill taken. Here's hoping for a more sex filled tomorrow.
Other than unclothed paranormal encounters, how has your day been
Stay away a while longer.
Still not sure if they're cops or strippers.
just walked passed a black light...apparently he DID cum.
What time is our conjugal visit?
Umm...who is this?
Randomize
