If you borrow your friends real doll, should you wear a condom?
well since you're still married, you will be paying for my abortion right?
Pray the makeout fairy visits me this weekend.
I might scale it back and go as an investment banker. Which is the exact same costume as James Bond on LSD. I just introduce myself differently.
So I cleaned out my gym bag. Found half a bottle of malibu.
You know, I could pretend I'm shocked but what's the use?
Nobody has ever asked me for my honest opinion on whether they needed anal bleaching before
Penises. Everywhere.
You're. Welcome.
So coach him. No guy wants to admit being unsure of something in bed. It's a man-law or something.
ARE YOU SAYING THAT YOU DON'T WANT TO GO TO A PARTY AT AN ADULT STORE WHERE A BUNCH OF HOT GIRLS ARE DRINKING
All I've been thinking about for the past 12 hours is sex and SEAWORLD
Open the door and I will lure them out to freedom with viagra and candy orange slices. You know they love that shit.
She's asleep in a fisher-price toy car
I don't care. We're going to fuck. And I WONT apologize in the morning. You cheated on me, so you can cheat on her with me.
What do you do when you legitimately find a hidden sex dungeon in your parents basement next to your bedroom!!?
Note to self: I can rip apart her vagina and she'll still cuddle with me, but if I steal her Chapstick she'll murder me !?
Randomize
