WHY DOES GOD HATE MY DICK
I may or may not be drunk driving a golf cart. Vegaaaassssssss.
she said she was gay. i said prove it. she said "ok i wont fuck you"
There is a pink thong attached to a bottle of svedka hanging from my ceiling fan..is this yours?
YOU DID DRUGS AFTER A THREESOME WHO ARE YOU TO JUDGE ME?!!?
So I fucked her. If you're keeping score at home, it's all tied up with horrible sex with someone I like and great sex with someone I hate both with 1.
It's official. This guy and I are going gay for each other. We're tasting the fucking rainbow.
So the bartender tried kicking me out but i screamed im an RA you cant kick me out
I miss her, but also fucked her ex boyfriend.... So there's that
Yeah you burned that bridge with your vagina
TYLER OWES ME SO MUCH
I LET A CREEPY MAN I DONT KNOW SUCK ON MY NIPPLES
I'm done, I have no more memes or ways to ask for nudes, so yeah
I need a hoe opinion
go on
Had to admit my broken elbow was caused by vodka, not hockey
My disney ticket is covered in lube, do you think they will accept it?
Can u pick up some lemons on the way? I have Tequila and a sore throat..I need them for both
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