somehow on my way home with matt, I ended up straddling steve on the sidewalk and polling the people walking by on whether or not we should have sex.
Told a girl i wanted to feel her bellybutton from the inside... I need to learn how to flirt
I'm terrified to sleep next to her. Of course the sex will be fuckng awesome.
i think you ate grass..but you refused to open your mouth so we could see..
I smell like fire and strippers. Successful sunday funday.
Just a warning... Flip, sip, or strip always ends in all participants being naked. Learning from experience.
I just threw up 34 cents. What in god's name did we do last night?
Mom told me you snuck booze into a concert in a cheez its box...I have never been prouder to be related to you
Brah, we should get a "do not disturb sign"... I can't have people knocking on the door while I'm high, it fucks with me way too much.
But seriously, I love you and you are a good person and I'll get you some ecstasy
Woke up in a hotel room with some random guy then walked over a mile to the bus stop where I laid down and waited on the bus. GREAT NIGHT
Now i know i wasnt that drunk... So why are there texts of me volunteering for a nude photo shoot for an art major student?
I was just at Kroger and saw some guy with a steelers balloon... ran up to him and popped it. NO RAGRETS.
Dude, I need a fuckin wingman and this could finally make us eskimo brothers, how can you pass that up?
If i'm not ready, make sure i'm alive. Not passed out dead in the shower.
I'll still do breakfast to celebrate the life you've had.
Randomize
