I'm so high that a hulu ad convinced me to go on healthybaby.com
47 days without vaginal penetration. Im pretty sure it's grown over.
Do you realize that if your cunt was a missing person it would be assumed dead?
He came on me while singing crank dat like soulja boy, fuck our sex life has reached a whole new level of low
No I am not eating basil off your cock
you grabbed his arm with one hand and the bottle of smirnoff with the other and headed off to your room you were on a mission
About to trim my pubes so if you decide to walk in, viewer discretion is advised.
There are so many birds around me. And squirrels. I feel like that chick from Enchanted...but like if she had a dick and made poor life decisions.
The plan is that you eat an edible first, then pressure your dad to do one. You know you are down.
I just did the walk of shame..with a blanket and a cup that says i will out drink all you bitches. This was not how i pictured 25.
I ran into cvs barefoot with my belt undone and shirt buttoned wrong and didn't even have to ask. The guy working pointed and said "they're back there."
That's how I look going for the pbr.
as much as I don't like snorting drugs, I would totally be fine with someone doing a line off my ass. that's just a whole new up
Well my mom knows that the welt I had on my forehead last month was the result of a sex accident. This holiday sucks
Let’s be real here. NOTHING says Real Adulting like rolling a J on your line of credit paperwork.
Ps can u get with my cousin? He's a freshman at uconn and he's very attractive but like were related....
Thanks for driving us home last night. Also, blanket apology for anything I may have said/done. I blacked out sometime near the t-shirt cape incident
Randomize
