Let's hustle tonight so we can relax tomorrow
Perfect. Like where your heads at
By relax I mean have sex
Do you feel that fire radiating from matt's crotch for you
Gross. gingers suck
singing james blunt while drunk. tell me thats not wonderful
We ran out of things to say while we were playing Never Have I Ever so we started playing I Have Done This... Have You?
You'll be the guy with the raft that sells burritos on the river. You'd be legendary.
there was some random girl that nobody really knew, standing in the corner trying to shave her armpits with a plastic butter knife.
Lesson learned. Never get fingered on an airplane.
You tried to initiate "Occupy McDonald's" when the cashier didn't give you enough ketchup.
my parents decided to start a new christmas tradition. we will now be drinking champagne while opening presents, and we each get our own bottle
It wasn't until I took a shit, that I remembered that you assholes started spiking my shots with tobasco when I wasn't looking last night. Dicks.
I could really do without pictures of your asses in my inbox. That said, I'm extremely jealous that I wasn't involved.
Weekend plan is a big bag of dope, delivery food, Bollywood marathon and masterbating my dick raw.
Shouting "one vagina to rule them all" was probably not the best way to meet our best mates fiance
but how can he casually chat with my father 8 hours after asking me if i'm a screamer
She said she wouldn't get out of hand. When the cops showed up she jumped off the 4ft high porch and fell into a ditch. She then buried herself because she was wearing light pants and though the light from the cops flashlights would reflect off her pants. We couldn't find her for 40 minutes.
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