I just took a girl with a hip brace and crutches on a date. she obviously can't bone. is it rude to demand a blowjob?
My low point of the night was when my roommate spit out her jello shot and i took it...
the new roommate knocked on my door this morning holding a bong in one hand and my dennys leftovers from last night in the other. love this kid. Best student housing placement ever.
I have decided to cut my hair. This is based solely on the fact there is too much of it to clean vomit out every Sunday afternoon.
I made the bartender pinky promise me there was still vodka in my drinks.
I'm gonna have to flying elbow somebody tonight in memory of Macho Man
The timing couldn't have been better if I planned it. His mom walked away, I vomited in their mulch, and then his mom came back and offered me bread.
I have now added draft and wells specials that different bars have to my blackberry calendar.. Help me.
I definitely made out with a high school student last night while his sister and my brother were in the same room. I think we're all traumatized by the situation.
I fucked a guy that's in Sports illustrated. I'm officially ready for college.
That was the #1 scariest moment in my life. I have full trust in you, I let you bite my penis for god sake.
My mom just told me the story of how she met my dad through prison. How was your saturday?
I definitely think you should enjoy one last spring break being a sorostitute before you get serious and settle down with price charming. I mean hes not going to be there any way. he can wait a week.
He just felt my tits to find out which piercing I lost.
In between explaining the best feminist lenses for the myth of Persephone and doing vodka shots with my friends she dragged me into my car and gave me an Earth shattering blow job. Honestly I think I'm in love.
Randomize
