weed, chlorine, and victory. my bed smells like i had sex with michael phelps.
I'm missing my class because I'm not done with my beer
You bet me 100 dollars that the Raiders would win the super bowl this year. I have it on tape.
Yea, i was tied up and blindfolded. And someone was throwing chicken nuggets at my face.
He asked me to spit in his mouth. I did. Never let me hook up with this guy again.
To be clear, the next time I wake up with your dick inside me, I will reach down and grab one and squeeze until it pops like a grape. You've been warned.
We compared her boobs to bacon. I'm probably going to have to justify that.
I just really wish I could go back and unsex him. Waste of my vagina.
Sorry I pissed in your closet and lied to your parents that it was probably a flood. He got up to go to the bathroom, expecting sex when he got back, I panicked
They have beer where we have blood.
I'm done, I have no more memes or ways to ask for nudes, so yeah
I came so hard I literally levitated off the top of his dick. Gravity was no match for that orgasm!
Sorry for trying to wake you up by slapping your ass with a fruit 2 go.
Dude no i feel my liver disintegrating
So, I think my BF has slept with several of our sorority sisters
Well, now that you know, yes he has. We didn’t say anything because you seemed so happy. He’s a great guy and none of us have any hard feelings, but yeah, we’re all very familiar with his penis and it’s talents
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