I just ate 3 burrito supremes and a crunchwrap...can't feel feet...I think I have diabetes
tonight would not even compare to the night i tried to pee in the living room
Let me tell you a story about the rise and fall of my self esteem
Just found out its our ciliated mucous membrane that traps the molly when we snort it. Biology does relate to life
There should be a blender full of rum, tea, and grape jelly in the freezer. She thought it was a good idea until she blew chunks.
Before attempting to fly away into the night you asked me to take care of your sister. I agreed.
I basically have a picture with a half naked foreign exchange student. He kept screaming rolltide and i felt like a traitor
I built a fence. For the bunnies we're going to adopt. I'll fill you in when you get home.
That's the last time I send a mass text invitation to smoke a blunt
my confident boosted when he told me that it was I who started making out with him. ME. NOT HIM.
I AM SHOCKED AND PROUD OF MYSELF
Just zoned back in to real life and found myself chanting "noodle eater noodle eater noodle eater" at my parrot as he devoured a single macaroni
She acted like falling "up" the stairs was a fucking physics phenomenon. I call that Tuesday nights.
He had been licking my nipple for like 5 minutes and it wouldn't get hard. He asked me to lick my own and when I did, instant hardness. I realized I'd rather have sex with myself then this guy ..
I’ve got a closet full of cosplay outfits and horny boytoy to help me ride out this pandemic
I can't be held responsible for what I do for you after a blowjob like that.
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