What's the procedure for failed threesomes? Do I friend her on facebook this morning?
i fell asleep on him beating off on webcam last night, i'm such a great boyfriend.
i just saw a white kid with an afro using a martini shaker as a coffee thermos. go college.
I incognito puked under the VIP table. Did Jersey proud.
you are my patron saint of "too drunk for 9am". i just keep asking myself what would alyssa do as i try to regain motor function
For someone only wearing socks and a cast, I felt reallyy overdressed
That point of drunk where you're in a bar bathroom and you're like "F*ck you bra! I'm not taking your sh*t anymore! and you take it off and throw it in a trashcan.
Dont worry bro, i'll be the designated kayaker. I wouldnt want u to be drinking and kayaking.
You pissed off the back deck while listening to the national anthem from your phone screaming America Fuck Yea to my neighbors
"Accidentally" bump into him after class.
I'm gonna "accidentally" put his dick in my mouth.
I thought the first time I got peed on it would be by a baby...
Let me just get through this whole court subpoena thing and then ill go back to buying alcohol for minors.
will a lunchtime blow job make it better?
Let me atleast have my coffee before you start talking about your penis
I just group texted a dick pic. Wonder who'll respond back first. Ashley Stacey or my stepmom
Randomize
