Well I thought I'd be nice but yeah I'm not a fan of you either you're an arrogant stupid cocky unfunny loser. Don't talk to me you're crazy
i'm going to be one of those im-wearing-a-shirt-as-a-dress girls today. dont make fun of me, i need laid
I found your twin in sf. His name is ryan. And you are the evil one.
yeah well we're currently on the phone and she's telling me about how much she misses me and all this shit and i muted myself and i'm watching porn.
adderall flavored popcorn. yes we did it and its awesome
I found out why they kept calling her "CD". It was short for "Crab Dip". You're fucked.
using blue streamers we found on the bathroom floor was probably not the best substitute for toilet paper.
And then I asked the bartender for my third shot and he told me he had to cut me off at two because this was in fact a family fun center
That is true. Vodka is like a dog. Always loyal, warm, and there for you when you need it
You ripped my pants off and gave me the choice use it or lose it what was I suppose to do.
I AM STRANGELY AROUSED BY THIS UNEXPECTED DEVELOPMENT AND I AM COMPLETELY OK WITH THIS.
My moral compass kept pointing to his penis.
just woke up with nickles taped to my body. theres like a dollar worth.
We decided it was a good idea to go streaking through the campus. Everything was fine until the sprinklers turned on and we realized the keys were in his pocket.
The salt made it so good this margarita is touching my soul. I swear I'm not high BUT I want elote in a cup with the insides of a shrimp taco. I think that would make my life complete.
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