physics? naw man, teacher told us it was casual friday, so i decided to be super casual and not go.
They've started ranking girls from "paper-bag" to "I just came." Please come get me
We have a drunk bartender with her nips a quarter inch from bein out buying us shots. GET HERE.
You just said the magic words
... there are chew marks on my license. I have no idea.
you kept telling her you'd make a great step-dad while cuddling her and rubbing her back...
Doing lines and watching a show on hot dogs around the world ... Why do I do this to myself
Dan marino should def buy this ambulance. But not this one. I'm gonna fuck this ambulance up
Turning 21 will be slightly bittersweet. Never again will I be able to get underage drunk at Disney World, now I'll only be able to get legal drunk and that just sets a whole different and sad tone for my life.
Nothing with ever convince me that she wasnt purposely left behind by our mother to ruin my life and fuck our family
drinking right out of the bottle and nobody bats an eye.
its good to be home.
If Anthony Weiner can get in trouble for sexting 2 or 3 girls I dunno how politicians will make it in 10 years.
Lol I would vote for a guy that is trying to be a senator that has a viral video of him motorboating a topless chick
this hangover isn't hhappening. im not letting it
its winning. its definitely happening
I just stole a bunch of balloons from a birthday party and am giving one to each person at the bar.
Did you come home, throw out a ton of shoes, then leave again?
That is exactly what I did.
you were just in my dream and you looked at me and said "Christmas is cold." I think you're wasted even in my dreams.
Randomize
