I miss you. Just wanted to say that before the drugs kicked in so it's legit.
To bright to open both eye. Get pizza and put in feeding tube so i can sleep more
its like think what a normal person would think but completely the opposite.
You kept calling me your small dog last night.
He snuck into my grandmothers house, broke her lamp, fucked me, then had breakfast with us the next morning. I am an awful granddaughter.
I love how our sober spotter means you only have to stay sober enough to type your pin in an ATM
God, for the last time, no I did not break my nose doing a keg-stand just for a nose job.
He let me keep my Michael Jordan Bulls jersey on during sex.
He sent me a picture of him trying to push his cock into a Gatorade bottle. I dont know if I'm impressed it didn't fit and disgusted that he sent me something so vile.
I bought a vibrating wall dildo with my tax return. You?
I've been here 20 minutes and a sweaty naked man has kissed me on the cheek.
Was about to close the deal last night until he said he hadn't seen the Taylor Swift video. So I made him watch it before I let him have sex with me.
Thank you for trusting your ovaries to me
Sometimes I refuse to go through a door until someone holds it open for me because I'm a fucking lady.
I just came in my own mouth don't ask me how cuz it really hurt and felt good at the same time.
Randomize
