At least I can take solace in the fact that with 8 billion some odd people in the world, at least one of them is shitting in their own car right now.
So you refered to him as "monster dick"...not so much
They're all gay and their wifi network is named HOMOS. I want to live with these people.
Dude, we somehow need to leave discretely with the toilet brush.
I think I'm going to wait until after Halloween to call off the wedding. No need to ruin my favorite holiday.
I'm more impressed with the spaghetti smoothie at the present moment.
I still don't know why you took that job... it sounds miserable
not having any beer money sounds even more miserable
I'm gonna have to get you a special blowjob bib -- like a lobster bib -- but instead of a picture of a little red lobster, it will have a picture of a penis, with 3 big squirts coming out.
If you set your screensaver to be a slides show, make sure you remove dick pics first. This lesson 1 of living with your great aunt
You'll be like the drunk Paul Bunyan someday with a giant grey cat
I showed my cat the amount of coke I had. She looked concerned.
My moral compass cannot be waived by two measly bloody Mary's
I think the only option is to smoke so much weed I just pass out for 3 days.
Yes. Ice cream tacos are an important aspect in the bridge of friendship
Who loses their virginity to fucking Flo Rida
Randomize
