She's just bitter because she lost all the weight only to discover she doesn't have a pretty face after all.
that thing about your dad's boner was meant to be a compliment
i just woke up i smell like fire, i have bruises on both knees and one elbow, i have a lighter and nip of smirnoff blueberry in my bed, rug burn on one hip and about 12 pics of you and me on my camera-this needs to stop happening
yea ive got to shower which is going to be painful given the skin burns from the blowup obstacle course races last night
Princeton has an emergency contraception worldwide website. It is in moments like these that I love my university
an unopened bag of salt and vinegar chips... probably the best thing I've ever found in my room while high.
I woke up under a table, with a huge Mexican sombrero, a box of 120 doughnuts and a bloody nose. It all screams success.
the most drunk i have ever been? possibly. the most drunk i have ever been on a monday? definently.
I think I wrote "thanks for the free alcohol!!!" in their wedding guest book and I'm almost positive I signed my name
if i actually get asked out by my dealer what could happen?
i don't know, but it probably involves bathtubs full of weed
I asked him why I was having sex with him in the middle of having sex. It was sufficiently awkward.
She doesn't even know his real name...he just keeps calling himself Hans the Third
why isn't there a kind of gay where i let guys give me head but they don't expect me to give it back? i could be that kind of gay
He was that good?
I just walked by a dude at the gym covering himself in olive oil.
I'm dying of laughter, but I'm also just dying
Send help
This conversation went from me banging other women's husbands to learning about baked goods. If that isn't personal growth I don't know what is.
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