Baby momma caught me doing baby daddy in reverse cowgirl. She kicked me out and i have no clothes, come get me.
I hope you walked the shit out of that shame.
i stapled my math hw together with an ear ring, too ghetto?
I swear I could audibly hear her vagina slam shut when you walked up to hit on her.
Don't park in the garage. I installed a stripper pole while drunk and it's kinda in the way
Not gonna lie i was comfortable between the allsups air conditioners while you were talking to the cop.
to whom it may concern. if i am dead in colleens bed it is not her fault i slept in my scarf. my dads middle name is ronald.
I would watch the shit out of some full house right now.
She keeps feeding me drugs. Its like I'm her baby bird or something
Getting day drunk before work is perfectly acceptable when its 99 cent margaritas.
You're the horniest male I have ever encountered
Makes it sound like you're a scientist documenting your discoveries. I warned you.
Your roommates will be treating you to many anecdotes about my intentions to have aggressive sex with you. I'm sorry in advance.
But can mardi gras accurately capture the essence of my tiny rage?
I've come to the conclusion, I should prob have at least 20 hr supervision. I would say 24, but I'm guaranteed to pass out for at least 4 hrs a day
there's no judgement here...i was recently just fingered in my dorm hallway while having a conversation with 5 people.
When the nurses wouldn't let him smoke in the hospital he decided to just roll around on the floor.
Randomize
