Obv we're gonna bbm each other in bed
Fuck U Mike is a golden god.
Mike give steph back her phone.
Vanessa Carlton's songs would be so much better if she was pretty
Random fact of the day: cum is a really good eye makeup remover
btw i have an angry voicemail of you yelling at me to get you a sandwich or die.
Playing hide and seek with all those cheeseburgers... Not our finest moment.
Even though ive seen her get fisted by another girl at a party, shes still a doctor.
WHY AM I ALWAYS DEFEATED BY THE LATIN COCK?!?!
We got kicked out of the ice rink last night for drinking and checking strangers... but they let us keep the beer
This is most sickening thing I've ever seen, and I threw up my body weight in jello shots on my birthday.
If I hid at school to avoid the cops, is it fleeing and evading or just being a good student?
What procrastination leads to: I have submitted a third of my job applications this week with a BAC that would get me arrested
It started getting weird when you decided to scold my vagina.
Don't let me pee the bed... Its going to be one of those weekends
Last time he showed up for Christmas he went on and on about backpacking somewhere and getting ghonnorreah twice.
Randomize
