opening your purse in class to grab a pen only to find dollar bills and pink fuzzy handcuffs instead...that's a cool feeling
Do you have any idea how hard it is to cum to Chingy?!
I think his parents are learning english from the phrases I shout during sex.
Our fuck buddy relationship took a turn for the worst after we were drunk and I punched him in the face when he asked for a three some with my best friend.
Apparently I told a girl last night, that's she's super beautiful and I don't want to fuck she just deserves being eaten out
That shot was terrible
You were like one of those guys at carnivals that spit out fire..... Except it was throw up
Sometimes I have to make sure these messages are going to you and I'm not about to give someone in my phone book a heart attack.
You let someone poor beer into my mouth off of a balcony. Best friend test failed.
Haahahahahahhaaa
He fell asleep on top of me after sex. For 3 hours. Poor guy worked too hard.
Ran into my statistics professor at the bar, he chugged a car bomb and yelled "x bar mothfucker!". On average I'm loving this PhD program.
Those nachos came to me in a dream
Just tried to do a line with a snorkel I cut off... that is how my Aruba trip is going!
I'm so sad at the lack of dick in my life I am going to get sauced and make rice krispy treats
I got fucked in a bat mobile this morning. Being slutty rules.
She totals her lexus and all she wants is to have crazy wild sex.
Randomize
