Apparently at one point I was wearing my sweatshirt backwards like it was normal and then I threw up into the hood. Never drinking again.
So i decided to deal with the awkwardness of last night by making out with all three of them
i just peed out my two story window using my cell phone as a flashlight . hope the neighbors didnt see
As a side note, my abs are sore. Most likely cause? Orgasms. Thank you.
Just found a hole in my wall with your left shoe in it.
Just please never masturbate in my bed again. I'm burning my sheets as I write this.
Hahah fuuuck, bag pipers played around me while I threw up. Literally
I fell asleep while we were Skyping and woke up to his balls bouncing in front of the camera while he sang "Wakey Wakey!" over and over again. Merryfuckingchristmas.
Sometimes turtles just really trip me out man
So, it's been almost 3 months and and I still dont know her last name. That's gotta be a record.
She said I'm going to get you stoned and have you fuck me on the couch.
walk of shame across osu's campus on game day. i can see all the spots i threw up last night. its like my personal yellow brick road.
My dog and I just went outside to pee together.
Someone just said “I need to use up this money before I’m tits up under the dirt” so I think I’m going to start using that in my daily vocabulary.
That song just makes me wanna take off my top and shake my titties all around the club.
Randomize
