YEA!!! I'll throw you a non-baby shower.
College reaches a new low. We just carved a shot glass out of a potatoe.
Someone shit on the floor
There's a hobo dancing by himself. Is anyone going to ask how he got in the house?
"Is there dairy in semen?" was in her recent google searches...so she's lactose intolerant AND a slut.
Revenge fucks should not count towards the total number. They're justified.
I wish I had a frozen water bed.
best. idea. ever.
it was like a zeppelin in a condom
Nada. Shooting off confetti and wanted to see I'd u could see it from ur house.
Wow. Its not even 11am.
She had another shot and asked if I wanted to taste her tongue ring. Then I helped her pee.
Did you know there's no emoticon to really tell you that I just consumed a magic brownie?
I'm using the house around the corner that my parents rent out to people as a means of getting sex. I just tell them I'm going for a walk and just invite my next hook up over
He invites me over too FucK and i wind up eating 6 jimboys tacos with his roommates. While he waited in his room. Maybe next time
I also point out to everyone that she looks like DJ's gf on Roseanne.
As we were walking to her place she stole a pizza from the delivery guy's car and when we got home she grabbed a slice, two beers, removed her pants, and said "call of duty?" im going to marry her
Randomize
