She does have a great personality.
Yeah, in her vagina.
She wants her shit back. Clearly she missed the cheaters-get-their-shit-ritually-burned clause.
burritoes are like sleeping bags for ground beef
I had to explain to the waiter that I'm not the DD because I can't drive, but as the Designated 'Make Sure No One Gets Roofied Or Hit By A Car On The Walk Home'-er, I should still get the free drinks.
We left his house because I forgot how to drink water, I was just holding it in my mouth and then spitting it out, needless to say I don't remember the sex.
I hooked up with a guy dressed as Justin Timberlake, while dressed as Britney Spears. Fuck Jessica Biel, all my 90's dreams are coming true.
I tried to celebrate Halloween, Thanksgiving, Hannukah, and New Years all in one night.
Do you think I need to report to HR that the intern and I had butt sex?
He tried to introduce me to one of his friends that kept looking at me and I said "OH NO! I can't do this shit anymore!!" It was like I had a vision of what drunk me would've done in about 20 minutes.
I know this is super early in advance but can I borrow your horse mask on 4/20
Is it against health code to come into work half drunk and commando?
There is a video of you making out with him, flipping off the camera, and holding the plastic flamigo that you had just stolen out of a yard
It's decided. Tomorrow I'm getting a Big Mac and a Dildo
Well I got black out drunk before the rehearsal dinner and berated my family with insults. But other then that it was a good time
you should just get a floor plan of your dorm and start checking off rooms.
Randomize
