everytime i eat a fruit i feel like i'm eating ovaries
Psycho is an understatement. U were running around the house screaming IM UNDER THE IMPERIOUS CURSE
Just passed a strip club with a Marquis sign that said 'tis the squeezin'
how many americans can say they have been laid before eating their first big mac?
So was I the only one that was competing in the whale hunt?
Drinking franzia alone at noon watching a cheese themed episode of "The Chew" I'm ready to admit I need a job.
He looked like he was trying to woo a lady version of himself by playing goblin music on his guitar.
That's the last time I get in a car with six rappers headed to god knows where.
We thought it was a good idea to send a picture to our HS science teacher where she's smoking a joint and I'm holding a monkey, and he invited us to lunch. NEW LEVEL UNLOCKED.
I can't. I'm not drunk enough for this information.
Saw the same Luigi I hooked up with last Halloween. Still in his same Luigi costume and scruff that hurt my face
The other day, he sent me a snapchat of his dick in the forest. He captioned it "nature nudes."
How likely is it that we can see each other tomorrow night? I want to shave my legs in good faith but it's cold outside and my bathroom is drafty.
In theory, it seemed like it would work.
Do you think showing up at his door with bourbon and chicken is too forward?
His PENIS is so fucking big that I always use caps, out of respect.
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