Apparently at one point I was wearing my sweatshirt backwards like it was normal and then I threw up into the hood. Never drinking again.
I woke up naked by my window. blinds open. smiley face drawn on my window.
The cop only confirmed I'm .22% Irish. Then I threw up on him.
we couldn't afford a big pool so we bought 2 kiddie pools and put the inflatable beer pong table inbetween. get over here. now.
that would be two times in a week with two different guys.
they have the same name so it only counts as one guy right?
if im not pregnant im gonna be so pissed for spending the money from my weed fund on the test
wow, a mother in the making
it wasn't a normal cookie, i figured that out 45 minutes into my exam
Climbing out Mr. Friday night's bathroom window. He thinks I'm puking. Be on state st. with the getaway car and if you could bring me a shirt and some advil that'd be dandy.
So proud. See you in five. I've got coffee.
This is why I need to move out...so my naked vomit covered walk of shames to the bathroom are only witnessed by one other person who is equally as pathetic as me and the cat
SHE GRABBED MY FULLY ERECT DICK IN A BAR AND STUCK HER TONGUE DOWN MY THROAT AND I COULD NOT CLOSE
I just started the bonfire using a tampon. Who knew they could have multiple uses?
Showed up 15 minutes late and curtsied when I entered the door if that puts perspective to how my first day is going
Like not to be gross, he was eating me out while I was smoking a bowl. It was like a rap video
I found your missing hash cookies. Fuck you and I'm sorry but there are only 2 left. I already had the munchies.
I just turned down the best booty call of my life because I have to make a cheesecake. I guess this is growing up.
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