i feel like my life has become an afroman song and idk whether i should be sad about that or not
So I had to explain to her that pussy doesn't mean a cat
He gave me a 420 gift that consisted of a dime bag, a philly cheesestake, and a Pepsi that was still cold. If he ever wants a free bj, I got him.
right. well i dont plan on getting laid till i find a respectable girl that i can make unrespectable
i feel like verizon should give a sexter of the month award
Stealing vibrators from Walmart together was when I realized you'd be my Maid of Honor.
Define 'illegal'. Your idea of it and my idea are in separate universes.
i think maybe i'll just not watch it. i'd rather not think of you as a magical transforming set of dick holes.
I'm the saddest girl in a tutu right now.
He smells so good today
Seriously, back away from the sexual harrasment suit.
Let us do this. Tomorrow night is thirsty Thursday. Let us drink whiskey from the bottle and have men in plastic gloves inscribe permanent images of each others faces onto our buttocks.
I just watch that 70s show all day and blaze whenever they do. It's nice being part of the circle
My now ex hook up buddy realized I was hooking up with others when she saw my spotify sex playlist making appearances on fb. fml
Currently rolling a blunt in the bathroom of Planned Parenthood
That would involve putting on clothes and I don't think I can face that right now.
Randomize