Seeing Harry Potter 3D stoned: Pro- giant redheads w/cute accents. Con-weeping for stoners who only had Pink Floyd laser shows.
So I went outside my house this morning and basically my entire front lawn is covered in gummi bears... I think that involves you guys.
dont touch anything in my room. If its phallus shaped, i can almost guarantee its been in my vagina.
I am in the checkout line at the dollar store and there is a guy in front of me holding a pregnancy test, a chocolate bar, and fake roses. Champion.
Somehow ended up at a stranger's bridal shower. Everyone else is already drunk.
you know something has gone wrong in your life when you've gotten a court order to stay away from ALL mc donalds.
she's my drunk super hero.
I'd be surprised if he had a problem with boundaries after helicoptering his penis in front of you
I took the weekend off because he and I were supposed to go to Vegas for our anniversary and get a hooker remember?
Ah, yes. Who says romance is dead?
hey dude, just got with the girl in H4. so mark H off the apartment list
haha we are half through our lease and already checked off 17 letters
I was just shot with a dart gun by one of my coworkers while walking to the printer. Ironically I was printing my resignation letter...
Dude. Where are you? There's a hot chick drunkenly dancing on the bar and aggressively taking shots to Pink songs. She looks like she needs a rebound. Get. Here. Now.
FUCK NYC TRAFFIC.
She helped me out of the car and i face planted into the snow.....and just stayed there and took like a 30 min nap.
I think he's like Cher he's going to live forever but not as scary looking
We go out and drink, fuck, and I stay the night. He agrees to it because he knows I'll hook him up to IV fluids in the morning. Everyone wins
Here's the thing. Kinda drunk. Eating leftover soup. In bed. Watching Disney channel.
Randomize
