I either just heard my neighbors having sex or she really agreed with whatever he was talking about.
He has some good qualities. Beneath the layers of asshole and fat.
he wrote Vegans should suck on cow dick on her wall with permanent marker. thats how he got the black eye
just smoked a blunt while listening to nsync. i now know what my childhood was missing.
My meds have diminished my sex drive, this must be what regular women feel like
It would be like a dance party with a dick inside you. I think that's what Ke$ha wants for the world.
This hickey is now green and covers half my neck. I have an alien hickey. I think he thought my neck was dinner.
Impromptu road trip to New Orleans for four days of Mardi Gras. I'll probably be alive and back for Valentine's Day plans, probably won't stick my dick in some random either-might be using my free pass you cheating asshat. Love you. Expect random texts & probably a drunk dial or twelve. You did this to yourself. You're not invited so don't bother. Have fun at work.
YOU'RE CHANGING THE SUBJECT. I CAN BLOW SOMETHING UP OR I CAN TELL HIM YOU LOVE HIM, BUT ONE OF THE TWO IS BOUND TO HAPPEN
If I wasn't stoned and knee deep in cheese and crackers I'd help.
She proposed we share a dildo. Hopefully she was joking.
He fed me jello shota while i was sitting on the toilet and then he peed in the shower
At least you didn't lose your virginity to chumbawumba
First time a guy goes down on me and his dog had its head on my knee the whole time. I swear it was judging me.
last night I used snow as a chaser
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