dude i'm inner monologue high
The only bad thing about this relationship... my forearm strength is dwindling
We just laid there in bed together, petting his dick and repeating, "IT FEELS LIKE VELVET!!!"
When you sober up and come in here, I'm in your bed because you pissed on me in mine. So fuck. Off.
I don't think I even want to know why you are sending my husband pictures of your nutsack.
If the Cards come back I will fly to St Louis and shit in a very public place.
You called me to pick you up from the bar at 9:00. When we drove over the speed bumps you put your hands in the air and pretended you were on a roller coaster.
That's what he gets for shittin at the strip club. Who does that??
I just got hit on at the bar by a guy who used his mother as a wingman, she was pretty convincing. Only in Stratford.
Any chance I can buy my dignity back with $45?
Started crying to "that's the way it is" by celine. What the fuck uterus?!
I'm twenty nine years old, now is not the time to start trying new drugs. I need a hedge fund...not another drug-induced hangover.
Can't find my wig, my underwear, or my dignity. Halloween 2016
I just watched my mom pour beer into her vodka and drink it.
Just to clear things up, yes you did lick the strippers butt
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