Now I'll never know if Megan finds a millionaire.
Its a sad when the highlight of your day is flicking a booger and actually getting it to stick to your computer monitor.
I was so high I couldn't tell if they were goosebumps or herpes.
i mean, what better way to remind him of his failures in life than to fuck his roommate/fraternity brother?
I have a very hazy flashback of me making out with a guy in a seashell bra??! Can you confirm or deny
I'm with the hottest fuckin fire fighter right now. I'm ready to fake my own death.
Just woke up in his bed wearing only his shoes. I don't know how to gently say hey dude get the fuck up and take me home....regardless these are some nice shoes.
Its not even real halloween yet. This extremely toxic yet briliant costume is going to kill me
Oh god iv'e slept with this police officer before oh god oh god
I masterbated to the rocky theme song. I'm pretty sure that just beat any sex experience I've ever had.
FUCK IM ABOUT TO GET A DICK PIC IN THE LIBRARY
He's bringing a lesbian pretending to be his girlfriend to family Christmas. I can not wait to see how this goes.
You don't get to call me bro after you've had your dick in me.
i just used your hair clip to unclog my bong. i miss you so much!
Let me call you later. I’m lining up some office dick now that working at home is ending
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