Singing into hair straightener during spice girls....sooo dangerous
Bad news. I lost my teeth. Good news. I can still take a guy home sans teeth.
Why is everyone in the bowling alley looking at me like i'm a prostitute just because I have bunny ears on?
I'm having horrible flashbacks of being groped by Pauly Shore.
I told her she can't come to our bonfire because she throws up on herself & she has a mustache. And now apparently I'm a bitch or something.
you were sat in the corner crying until someone gave you a baguette, which you then tried to feed to the duck doorstop.
I regret nothing
Not going to lie- I'm a little freaked out camping right now. This is one of those high activities you don't do by yourselves...or close to bears
In other more interesting news I'm going to arrange a surprise orgy. You in?
the bride at the wedding we just crashed said we can stay only if we strip for her. You need to get down here
I asked if he wanted to sext and he just started sending me pictures of his beard.
Ill go to bed but tamed sharks isnt so much of a bad idea. Not for riding
the liver wants what the liver wants
Ur wingman ability is causing serious doubt
Ok first off its WAY easier if you are actually here
Noo not in a booty call way, in a 'How are your abs and penis doing today?' sort of way.
Is it acceptable to respond to a declaration of love with 'and I love your dick'? Asking for a friend who shares a name and possibly a phone number with me. Entirely coincidental.
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