we didnt even make it to the club...the two of us were sharing a plastc bag in the taxi puking into it.
I'm really sorry I gave you road head last night and made you drive over and break the sprinkler system.
she comes in perfect pitch. hook up with more singers.
Grass is always greener, Allison, grass is always greener
The grass is drunker and I'm lying down on it
"There should be some kind of award for sleeping with your ex 9 times in 3 days."
Too bad, iambic pentameter is a drunk specialty of mine.
On a scale from 1-10 how fucked up would it be to buy weed with my fafsa money?
It's a study aid
The single life is the freaking dream dude. I'm sitting here naked, eating chocolate mousse, and watching Gilmore girls. It's wonderful
She turned off her phone alarm (which was the theme song to Star Wars) and then asked me if I wanted a blow job before she went...of course I am going to see her again.
You came in, yelled 'i am from the future' then puked all over the floor
Is it just me or is it like a girl gets married and all of a sudden she’s a “blogger”?
I threw up all of my purple drank and thats really important
No instead we fucked in the elevator.. it was wrong on so many levels..
How tall was the building? Maybe it was only wrong on some of them
I'm stuck on a cliff. I'm not sure how I got here or how to get down. Please send help. And clothes.
One can only be this extremely wet once a year and I feel like I'm bitch slapping god by not using this gift he has bestowed on me.
Randomize
