If I go to jail what happens to my debt?
You dont have to pay it.
I'm going to jail.
We're not too concerned with getting her out of jail. We're on a mission for donuts.
All these girls I talk to are like I've never had a hangover and I'm like you don't drink right here let me show you
I WAS a history major. I also WAS a functioning human being. Fuck gin.
Should I tell this TSA agent his fly is down while he is trying to hit on this chick?
I don't need my coworkers thinking I'm a nutcase.
You gift wrapped a tampon.
He literally poured blue Gatorade on me after we had sex and said "good game" all over my white sheets
He yanked my breathe right strip off in the middle of me riding him.
We need to catch up immediately. I took ecstasy and made out with carrot face this weekend.
i ate her out in full view of all her roomates. the word awkward doesnt even cover it.
Girl just left one of the apts upstairs carrying a giant bottle of kahlula and a lunchable.... I feel like we could be friends
The only thing I want for my birthday is a divorce from you.
How does it make you feel that I can't control my vagina around you?
I'm not gonna lie, but for some reason I have this strong desire to watch porn with my pint of haagen das.
He’s basically a sexual superhero. A mild mannered marketing intern by day, but a very horny 22 year old with pornstar stamina at nights!
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