i don't like sucking hair
i wish there were pregnant emoticons
SOME GIRL ON THE STAIRS IN FRONT OF ME JUST FARTED AND IT WENT STRAIGHT INTO MY MOUTH!
I was so high last night that i'm 89% sure my roommates set up an obstacle course for me and timed it. Not positive.. I think one of the challenges was pairing shoes
He was such a tease, he pulled out his dick, let me touch it then put it away
It's one thing to send dick shots. It's a whole other thing to send unimpressive dick shots while wearing crocs.
Escorted a stripper to her car last night,and all I got was a "Thanks" and "Go Steelers."
I'm not sure if it was sex or spear fishing. He goes in for it like he's crash landing a rocket
Just saw the german running around on campus. Thought of his small penis.
As you should.
And dildos are 35% off. So. Ya know. Savings.
Please don't mistake my med student status for responsibility. I'm drinking tequila while studying vascular surgery techniques.
Yes... I'll kill two birds with one crazy ecstacy filled night.
Instead of more alcohol, I decided to drink tea. Lets slow clap it out for me
He dated a girl who could do the damn splits on his dick like how do you compete with that
college girl with braces trying to flirt with you...time to go
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