It must have been true love
I don't call true love eating a bag of doritos and then going down on each other
I woke up with my 26er down my pants and a peice of paper stuck to my forehead with gum that said "tell it to the greek goddess beside me"
well we are all hammered and my parents are reminiscing about all the times they drove us home drunk from Christmas
She gave me a handjob while eating a mcdouble with mayo on the way home from the bars at 2 in the morning. Car was full of people. This could be forever
I tried to put a seat belt on in the shower. And I'm 80% sure I ate soap.
I know, but I was really high and I felt like a failure dragon because I could only blow smoke, no fire.
Shes definitely an expert at this. Her happy hour goes from 4 to 11, then she starts drinking heavy. She also allots 15 minutes each hour for a pee/bj break
Flaming shots last night. Missing an eye brow. There a connection?
You don't understand. If you watched a video of the shenanigans that occurred in my life over the past 48 hours you would gasp worse than the girl who witnessed me puking in my bag at the children's hospital
That UFC fighter fucked me so hard I have what can only be described as a "cuntcussion"
The plan is that you eat an edible first, then pressure your dad to do one. You know you are down.
If you're funny as hell and have a mustache, odds are I'm probably gonna fuck you
Once you jizz in someones hat, you cant take it back.
Hes back in his dorm room dancing naked with 3D glasses on.
and he said that acid doesnt really do anything to him...
He sounds like Chris Tucker and wants to eat me out when I’m on my period. If that isn’t love I don’t know what is.
Randomize
