today's thought: if you're naming your fb album "wEdDiNg dAy!!!!!!" you're too young to get married
I seriously think I have a tan line on my stomach from getting a boner while in the taning bed.
I met him yesterday and now he's wanting to hold hands and kiss in public. i hate this
Two things. 1 - I want to apologize for my drunkeness last night. 2 - I want to pre-apologize for my anticipated drunkeness tonight.
I'm naked and wearing a cowbell.i love med school.
I mean, I gave him a hand job on the Pearl Harbor tour bus; I don't know what the fuck else he wants out of this "relationship"
After they flagged you, you hid in a bathroom stall and text me to bring you more shots. That kind of drunk.
You were dancing with his friend and you stopped to literally push the girl he was dancing with out of the way to make out with him
Lets get coked out and steal a parrot this summer
He woke up, yelled "RALLY!" and then puked in my glove compartment
It's beautiful and huge. Like a dinosaur.
Please come over. It's a pajama and burn-2016-in-effigy party
She's licking the vodka she spilled off the desk
Aaaaand now she's drinking it out of the shot glass like a cat
You can't just bring up bondage and then stop answering me
I just remembered I casually gave you a tour of the house after we boned...lol
Randomize
